While most Catholics understand that there is a special call and Providence for the vocations of priesthood and religious life, few appreciate this when it comes to the more common vocation of marriage. Since human nature is already inclined to marriage it would seem that simply following that inclination would be sufficient.

Revelation shows us, however, that God's plans for each man and woman are quite precise. Did not Our Lord say the very hairs on our heads were numbered (Mt. 10:33). More to the point, speaking of the life-long union which He would demand of Christian spouses, Jesus states that such marriage is possible "only for those to whom it is granted" (Mt. 19:11). It is thus clear that not only those called to virginity/celibacy "for the sake of the Kingdom of God" (Mt. 19:12), but also those called to sanctity through Christian marriage, have their supernatural vocation directly from the hand of God. This is hardly surprising when we recall that Christian spouses must be signs in the world of the love of Christ for His Bride the Church (Eph.5:25-27, 32). Fr. Joseph Kearns, SJ, in his Theology of Marriage, summarizes this matter when he writes,

Since two people are involved in this vocation, it can not consist in an invitation simply to marry or to marry any one of several good women. Both parties are loved by God. Neither is merely used for the other's sake. Both are led to this particular marriage because it will be good for each of them. When God decides that a certain man shall exist with a certain personality, He usually has a woman in mind who will need that man's strengths and will be able to help him overcome his weaknesses. Her own personality is the reason why she is offered this particular husband and why he is intended for her. 

At one time most couples entered marriage by reason of the choice, or at least the advice and consent, of parents. Parental experience and judgment generally insured that natural attraction was not the deciding factor. However, such courtship institutions are no longer operative in most societies. While existing friendship is, in many cases, the solid basis of a relationship that leads to marriage, it is also often physical attraction discovered through casual dating. Not surprisingly, Our Lady of Fátima, speaking to Blessed Jacinta in 1919 as she lying dying in a Lisbon hospital, spoke of the many marriages that displease God. This would seem more true today, when two-thirds of marriages end in divorce. It is acutely important, therefore, that men and women recover God's perspective on choosing a spouse, a perspective which Scripture shows us includes the angels.

Tobiah and Sarah

In the book of Tobit the Archangel Raphael (calling himself Azariah) leads Tobit's son Tobiah to marry Sarah. The text shows a process of illumination, encouragement and assistance that became for medieval theologians and spiritual writers a paradigm of how God, through his angels, brings together a specific man and woman for the Sacrament of Marriage. Fr. Luis de la Puente, SJ (+1615) exemplifies this view, when he writes,

His design was to show His invisible Providence toward His own by his visible example, the deeds of His Angels. They are their guardians and are wont to exhort and persuade them interiorly to whatever is need to make a correct choice of this state.

First, they set everything in motion by their inspirations and impulses, making each feel inclined and affected toward that person who is likely to be most useful to him (or her) for achieving salvation. Then they persuade the parents to consent, using the efficacious reason, "Your daughter is destined to be the wife of this God-fearing man. That is why no other was able to have her."

From all this we gather that one who wishes to make a good election in this matter should with prayer and confidence have recourse to the guardian angels. They are the invisible matchmakers and instruments of God for directing marriages and leading them to a happy ending.

Consider, for example, how St. Raphael illuminates Tobiah by pointing out to him a suitable bride.

Tobit 6:11-13 
Raphael said to the boy, "Brother Tobiah!" He answered, "Yes, what is it?" Raphael continued: "Tonight we must stay with Raguel, who is a relative of yours. He has a daughter named Sarah, [12] but no other child. Since you are Sarah's closest relative, you before all other men have the right to marry her. Also, her father's estate is rightfully yours to inherit. Now the girl is sensible, courageous, and very beautiful; and her father loves her dearly." [13] He continued: "Since you have the right to marry her, listen to me, brother. Tonight I will ask the girl's father to let us have her as your bride. When we return from Rages, we will hold the wedding feast for her. I know that Raguel cannot keep her from you or let her become engaged to another man; that would be a capital crime according to the decree in the Book of Moses, and he knows that it is your right, before all other men, to marry his daughter. So heed my words, brother; tonight we must speak for the girl, so that we may have her engaged to you. And when we return from Rages, we will take her and bring her back with us to your house." 

Tobiah, for his part, sees only the difficulties. He has heard that this woman has had seven husbands, none of whom has been able to consummate the marriage, owing to the envy of a demon. 

Tobit 6:14-15 
Tobiah objected, however: "Brother Azariah, I have heard that this woman has already been married seven times, and that her husbands died in their bridal chambers. On the very night they approached her, they dropped dead. And I have heard it said that it was a demon who killed them. [15] So now I too am afraid of this demon. Because he loves her, he does not harm her; but he does slay any man who wishes to come close to her. I am my father's only child. If I should die, I would bring my father and mother down to their grave in sorrow over me. And they have no other son to bury them!" 

The Archangel encourages Tobiah by pointing out his duty to choose wisely, in accordance with the advice of his father, and from his own special knowledge he tells Tobiah that he will succeed.

Tobit 6:16 
Raphael said to him: "Do you not remember your father's orders? He commanded you to marry a woman from your own family. So now listen to me, brother; do not give another thought to this demon, but marry Sarah. I know that tonight you shall have her for your wife!

St. Raphael not only encourages Tobiah in this choice by promising the result, he gives him practical advice on how to effect it, showing that God's Providence requires our cooperation.

Tobit 6:17-18a 
When you go into the bridal chamber, take the fish's liver and heart, and place them on the embers for the incense. [18] As soon as the demon smells the odor they give off, he will flee and never again show himself near her. 

The Archangel's advice does not end with the goal of bringing Tobiah and Sarah together, but includes how to live out of the marital commitment. This living out must begin with God, even before the consummation of love. 

[18b] Then when you are about to have intercourse with her, both of you first rise up to pray. Beg the Lord of heaven to show you mercy and grant you deliverance. 

The plan of sanctification in Christ for each man and woman is one which the Father has determined from all eternity (Eph. 1:3-6). This necessarily includes the choice of a  spouse for those whom He calls to Christian matrimony.

[18c] But do not be afraid, for she was set apart for you before the world existed. You will save her, and she will go with you. 

It is here that St. Raphael's knowledge ceases. God has revealed to him what was necessary, the supernatural call of these two people. But of future contingencies he is ignorant. However, given the natural procreative purpose of marriage in the Plan of God he suggests God's favor in that, as well.

[18d] And I suppose that you will have children by her, who will take the place of brothers for you. So do not worry." 

Hearing and believing the voice of God through Azariah, Tobiah's reaction is one proceeding from, in good order, the soul to the heart. 

[18e] When Tobiah heard Raphael say that she was his kinswoman, of his own family's lineage, he fell deeply in love with her, and his heart became set on her. 

Tobiah's faithfulness to his supernatural call is best exemplified not in his exacting fidelity to the Archangel's advice on dealing with the demon, 

Tobit 8:2-3 
At this point Tobiah, mindful of Raphael's instructions, took the fish's liver and heart from the bag which he had with him, and placed them on the embers for the incense. [3] The demon, repelled by the odor of the fish, fled into Upper Egypt; Raphael pursued him there and bound him hand and foot. Then Raphael returned immediately. 

but by the prayer he makes on behalf of Sarah and himself prior to consummating their conjugal union. If the demon represents the lusts and drives of fallen human nature, Tobiah's prayer manifests the holy motives that ought to be present in the hearts of a believing man and woman.

Tobit 8:4-9 
When the girl's parents left the bedroom and closed the door behind them, Tobiah arose from bed and said to his wife, "My love, get up. Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance."  [5] She got up, and they started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. He began with these words:

"Blessed are you, O God of our fathers;
praised be your name forever and ever.
Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever. 
[6] You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support;
and from these two the human race descended.
You said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone;
let us make him a partner like himself.' 
[7] Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine
not because of lust, but for a noble purpose.
Call down your mercy on me and on her,
and allow us to live together to a happy old age."

[8] They said together, "Amen, amen," [9] and went to bed for the night.

Isaac and Rebecca

Excluding the unique example of the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, in which the Archangel Gabriel plays an important role, the only other scriptural example where an angel aids in courtship and marriage is in the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca. The Patriarch Abraham, father in faith of Christians and Jews, in order to ensure a good marriage for his son Isaac, sends his chief servant to his homeland to find a wife among his own kinsmen. Before allowing the servant to depart he promises him that God will aid him in accomplishing this commission, through the ministry of an angel.

Genesis 24:7 
"The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and the land of my kin, and who confirmed by oath the promise he then made to me, 'I will give this land to your descendants'--he will send his angel before you, and you will obtain a wife for my son there. 

The servant himself wisely turns to God in prayer, even proposing a sign to indicate the  the woman chosen by God for his master's son. 

Genesis 24:12-14 
Then he prayed: "LORD, God of my master Abraham, let it turn out favorably for me today and thus deal graciously with my master Abraham. [13] While I stand here at the spring and the daughters of the townsmen are coming out to draw water, [14] if I say to a girl, 'Please lower your jug, that I may drink,' and she answers, 'Take a drink, and let me give water to your camels, too,' let her be the one whom you have decided upon for your servant Isaac. In this way I shall know that you have dealt graciously with my master." 

God, indeed, answers this sincere prayer, in a remarkable way, so that the future wife of Isaac is revealed. 

Genesis 24:15-20 
He had scarcely finished these words when Rebecca (who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor) came out with a jug on her shoulder. [16] The girl was very beautiful, a virgin, untouched by man. She went down to the spring and filled her jug. As she came up, [17] the servant ran toward her and said, "Please give me a sip of water from your jug." [18] "Take a drink, sir," she replied, and quickly lowering the jug onto her hand, she gave him a drink. [19] When she had let him drink his fill, she said, "I will draw water for your camels, too, until they have drunk their fill." [20] With that, she quickly emptied her jug into the drinking trough and ran back to the well to draw more water, until she had drawn enough for all the camels.

The servant, however, does not presume to know God's mind. Although God can and does reveal it through signs, such signs are subject to human interpretation and misinterpretation. Having done what he could do, the servant waits patiently for it to be realized. 

Genesis 24:21 
The man watched her the whole time, silently waiting to learn whether or not the LORD had made his errand successful. 

As the events unfold, he discovers that God indeed has led him to the very house in which he was to seek a wife for Isaac, and to a young woman of that household, whom God has indicated in answer to prayer. Full of gratitude for the Lord's favor, he bursts forth in praise and thanksgiving. 

Genesis 24:26-27 
The man then bowed down in worship to the LORD, [27] saying: "Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not let his constant kindness toward my master fail. As for myself also, the LORD has led me straight to the house of my master's brother." 

The servant then proceeds to tell Laban, Rebecca's brother and kinsman of Abraham, what he was commissioned to do and all that had happened. Hearing it, Laban and his family recognize the providence of God and offer Rebecca's hand in marriage.

Genesis 24:50-51 
Laban and his household said in reply: "This thing comes from the LORD; we can say nothing to you either for or against it. [51] Here is Rebecca, ready for you; take her with you, that she may become the wife of your master's son, as the LORD has said." 

When offered the opportunity to consent, Rebecca does so, as well. God's Providence is not the result of coercion, but the working out of human freedom influenced by grace,  in this case through the ministry of the angel.

Genesis 24:57-58 
They answered, "Let us call the girl and see what she herself has to say about it." [58] So they called Rebecca and asked her, "Do you wish to go with this man?" She answered, "I do." 

So it is that we see how the angel guides Abraham's servant in the selection of a wife for Isaac. He also illumines and encourages Rebecca and her family in consenting and brings the whole affair to a happy conclusion.

Genesis 24:67 
Then Isaac took Rebecca into his tent; he married her, and thus she became his wife. In his love for her Isaac found solace after the death of his mother Sarah.